Sometimes I wish I'd never found this place. Ignorance is bliss...

I still think of it as a place, though Bridget's always told me otherwise. She's been here longer, so it's hard to say. Maybe we're both right.

The fact of the matter is that no one understands it, not even Billy did, and he'd been coming here the longest. He was the one to tell me the most about it, after the scouts found me. He called it a "debriefing" and would strut around like he owned the place, but if you listened closely to what he said, you could tell he didn't have a clue, either. No one knows for sure about where we are, and probably no one ever will.

I've always kept a journal of sorts, as a reminder. Everything happened so fast in the beginning. Amanda was my first friend here, and I probably trust her the most. She likes to sit with me when I write, and sometimes she tells me other things to write about, things I've forgotten. It used to make Billy angry, but I always show the New Ones my writings, after the Scouts bring them. I think it helps to know that you aren't alone in your fear and confusion. It helps to know that even though I probably seem so well-adjusted and secure here, I once was scared out of my mind. And I kept coming back. Of course, now I have come back to stay. Like everyone else, I find it too painful to go back to where we came from, and the headaches only go away when I'm here.

There really isn't a name for where we are, though each of us has our own word or idea for it. Billy called it "Hell" and always laughed when he said it, like it was supposed to be funny. Billy always thought he was amusing, and you would think he would've noticed when no one laughed. Amanda says it's our "Space" and doesn't elaborate much more than that. Myself, I've always called it The Other. It's like where we've been, but not quite. It's something Other.

intro | next

Copyright © 1995, Monica Israels
All Rights Reserved
Please do not plagiarize any or all of this original work
monica@glowball.com